AN OPEN LETTER

Dear Santa Claus,

I regret to inform you that your delivery is now exactly one month late. I have not yet received the new car I ordered, nor has the million dollars been deposited into my account. The absolute deadline is my birthday. At that time, the interest rates will have increased drastically. I must insist on the prompt delivery of all items on my list, and please include a partridge in a pear tree and some reindeer jerky. If you are unable to deliver in person, an elf, leprechaun, Cupid or the Easter Bunny are required for official holiday representation. If they have not arrived by my birthday, I will report you the Tooth Fairy for collections (Remember, they call her “Tooth Fairy” because she “collects teeth”).

Regards,

Grown-ups everywhere

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